More Thoughts on Grieving.

So what are we connected to in our family and our ancestry? Are we connected to the person…like mom…or do we want the connection to the memory…the roots of who we are. We will miss the person…and that is good… but they are no longer here. So we have to distinguish between the person and the thing that we should hold on to.

We talked a lot about the family and any memories we had. A new one that came up was that my maternal great grandmother was a moonshiner. She had the “stil” under the chicken coop, and the Feds could never find it. Pretty funny…huh!

So it’s really not about the person, it’s about the actions and the memories that keep us rooted. Knowing what the family did, where they came from and what they stood for gives us that needed grounding.

It is imperative we think that way, so we can process our grief, and move on in life. Associating the person with the memory will disassociate us from the pain and grief of missing them in person. Realizing that the family will continue helps us to see the big picture…that we a part of a larger family…a tradition…something to be passed on. Then it becomes a torch we can carry, as we are the next generation. We pass the traditions and memories to our children.

When we realize that there is purpose (passing on traditions and memories) to our lives we feel more secure, and we can look to the future with the hope of making a difference and contributing to humanity.

The other thing is that we realize…as many have said…that it is relationships that matter more than accomplishments and money.

So get to know as much about your family as you can, because one day the next generation will ask you questions about the family’s past. And then you will be able to tell them funny stories like having a moonshiner in the family!

It will be great fun and will keep the continuity and connection going!

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