What is a Relationship?

Don’t know what to say, because I have so much to say…LOL!

I watch a lot of content on relationships even though we are the only ones in our reality, We still deal with all the constructs we have made called other people, so how do we do that?

First, they are what we think they are. They are our reflections. So, since it is us, we have to learn to be compassionate towards them. It’s like Loving Ourselves. Part of it is forgiving ourselves and releasing the trauma. That’s why we created them!

It’s the details that matter. You have to know what to say to someone when conflict arises. If you react badly, you will reap the effects of resentment, shame guilt, and mostly, lack of peace!

If you keep in mind that those “other people” are just you, it changes everything in your life.

I said it before, you become unoffendable and non-offending. You still have to stand up for yourself, like not accepting non-accountability, by just not associating with that kind of people.

You can create people, and friends that are, so your life becomes what you want it to be. It takes some searching and allowing for that to happen, but they always show up.

If you are accountable, which is a growing process, others of the same kind can come to you, so if you aren’t attracting them, start with yourself!

That’s where Peace, being Over the Line, and listening to they becomes the most important thing in your Life.

It’s also called Finding Your Dream!

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Thank You again, and Be in Abundance and Peace

Vince

 

 

On Relationships…Again!!!

I have to write about relationships again, because it is so crazy right now.

Are there any “normal” relationships anymore?

Maybe, but that’s not how it is depicted on Social Media. All one hears about is the cheating going on.

It’s the culture that’s changed over the last 60 years. Women entered the workplace, got birth control and everything got “equal.”

Well there is no equal…there is separation of powers, responsibilities and accountability.

That has largely been removed. Now there are no fault divorces, government dictating of monetary and child support.

None of this has produced anything positive.

Women have been freed to pursue their innate need of hypergamy with little consequence, completely destroying kid’s lives. They just move from man to man whenever they want with little to no regard to their children.

Men are destroyed because they love completely. They too stray but it’s different. Men have had multiple wives throughout history…and it sorta worked.

Women were always looked down upon for having multiple men. Now it women’s rights.

It might seem good and freeing for women, but no real man wants a women who has had multiple partners, ex-boyfriends they still have feelings for, and/or children with, male friends hovering around waiting to ponce on any little conflict that is sure to happen in any relationship.

Women have this need for attention and validation from everyone…mostly men…they really don’t like women because they are in competition for the best man…and they believe they deserve them.

But it doesn’t really give them what they need, because after all the attention, one night stands, being a single mom and at 35 can’t understand why they can’t find a good man. They can always get a man for a short hookup, but no long-term relationships, because men can see it and want no part of it.

Don’t think men have changed that much except to buy into the “equal” thing and end up being dumped or submitted to a masculine women.

Women do not respect weak men.

Men do not respect “loose” women.

But that is what has been pushed by every kind of media, social science and the changing culture…and it’s not working!

There is no way to deny the need for men to be with many women and women seeking the best man they can get.

But just because there is that very biological survival need there doesn’t mean we have to allow it…or encourage it.

There has always been the need for tempering those base instincts, and society has done it one way or another.

It’s the same as one can’t steal just because one wants it…or is even hungry. There has always been the constraints on behavior.

Women have to realize that sleeping around does not give them what they want, and men need to realize that sleeping around only encourages women to do things they don’t respect.

So men, if you want a pure women, quit hooking up with women…you are decreasing the supply of the very same women you want. Plus, women have an emotional attachment to you, and it’s creates trauma when you dump them. You create very damaged women that can’t make a pair bond. When you do find the “right one” they’re so full of the damage you have done to other women…which is the psyche of the culture…that it has the very little chance of making it longer than 7 or 8 years. By then you have made the “commitment” and get destroyed by their callous exit.

Women quit buying into the lie that you can sleep with whoever you want with no emotional ties. It might work for awhile until you think you found someone that maybe you could make something permanent, and then they dump you, because their men…number 1…and 2 they can innately see that you are not relationship material. You have become an object…the very thing you have been complaining about for 60 years. You cannot have sex without some emotional attachment…and it creates trauma…for each one. Yes that’s right…TRAUMA!!!

Realize that men can have sex with no emotional bond, but when they do they form it completely and “forever.” Women NEVER do that! It’s always their need for security and safety that keeps them with their man. If they perceive that is failing…they are gone…with no regrets…changing the past saying it was always bad no matter how long the good was.

Another thing is women will monkey branch and when the next monkey is not as good as she thought, she will branch back you…you monkey!!! Sorry, that’s just the way it is.

She doesn’t have to justify it…and really can’t in her mind. It just makes “sense” to her.

So men need to be the provider by being as good as they can…being the security women so desperately want. When they get it, you get respect…not love. Their “love” is always conditional.

Women, remember men have to “do” something with their lives…to become a provider. It entails many conflicts and struggles. You, on the other hand, have to provide peace, fitness, looks, children and deferring to their provision which means they get the last say…the decision. That makes you feel safe!!!

That’s how we…society…goes forward.

Time for a change!!!

Vince

vsalzer@vincesalzer.com