Some Common Objections to Loving Yourself

I was talking to a guy yesterday…at the beach…as they say here in Ecuador. When I asked him about Loving Himself, he got a quizzical look on his face, like that’s a different view. Then it turned to, “Nope I don’t believe that,” kinda look. He began talking about how we all should serve others. He is internet marketing savvy, so he spoke about what is my niche, who is my customer …blah…blah…blah. The same blather you hear all over the internet these days.

It seemed like he was deflecting, so not having to deal with what was going on inside. Like, did HE Love Himself? Can’t go there!

Gotta Love other people. That’s how business and the world works. Ya right…That’s working out real well.

I said maybe we need a new way to look at things. The saying “Love you neighbor as yourself” means that you can only “serve” the world as much as you love yourself.

Then he gave a little and admitted that there is a balance there.

I think he asked once about how can we do “that,” like it’s snake oil or some conspiracy theory, but we never went there.

Do you relate? Can you think about Loving Yourself?

I can’t really blame him. His reaction is the typical response. All outward focused.

But if you read the stories of all the big Internet players out there, they all had that moment of, “I am not fulfilled.” Many lost their business and had to start again. Some never could make their business work until they found what they Loved to Do!

It’s deeper than that though. It’s not “to do,” it’s “to be!”

Loving Yourself is a process of learning who you are, intrinsically. That You have basic qualities which make you worthy of Finding Your Dream!

Oprah Winfrey said that her success and peace of mind came when she realized the she was worthy.  That was the pivot point for her.

The top internet business people repeat things like I am Worthy of Success…my Dreams…of being Loved. They realize that they can do it, that it is their Their Destiny. Their intentions change. Their “vibration” rises to a level where good things can happen.

Then, when they focus on other people, their story resonates, and their message is compelling.

They also realize that their only responsibility is to themselves. Did you know that only about 10% of the people taking courses online ever finish them, and even less actually apply them successfully!!! So serving others is a very dangerous path to walk down. You put yourself out there and do your best and the 2 or 3 out a 100 that you contact, buy your service or course, and then only 10% of the 2 or 3 actually benefit from all your hard work.

That has depression written all over it…if you focus on that, or them. But if you are concerned with doing the best you can…being the best you can be…taking responsibility for yourself, then the outside world can do what it wants.

And you just keep Loving Yourself..and growing, and Finding Your Dream!

The next thing I learned about Loving Yourself was to become accountable.

Stop lying to yourself!

Keep Your Word…no matter what!

See why nobody wants to go there! We can’t deal with our own lies, guilt and shame. To do so, would mean periods of introspection and evaluation.

Then it means forgiveness…forgiving and asking for forgiveness. Is that hard…not if you know what that brings…Peace


How many times have heard about the “gurus” saying that at this time of year, they take time to review the past year and think about what they want to accomplish next year. They break it down to quarters, months, weeks, days, and some even hours.

That’s how valuable their time is. That’s how valuable their Dream is!!!

They become accountable to themselves, and then, to others. Those others begin to trust them and become very loyal clients and customers.

Mark Ford tells his story of he set out to get rich. He was lucky enough to find a mentor, a coach, and he did become successful. So he retired, and started doing things that he loved to do, like writing. He wrote 10 books, thousands of articles, movie screenplays and retired again. Now he is just what he loves to do, and is making money even though he doesn’t need any more. He’s having fun and is very focused!

So this Path…this Journey of Finding your Dream is inward focused…not outward.

So if you really want to discover what you want and how to get it, contact me here!

2 thoughts on “Some Common Objections to Loving Yourself”

  1. It was a quizzical look. I was puzzled because you gave me no basis for your premise. Just kept on repeating you have to “Love Yourself” over and over with no explanation. Every time I would try to get into your train of thought so I could better understand, your response was something along the lines of: it so hard to grasp I would have to receive coaching from you to understand – which you made blatantly clear was something not everyone can afford. I was just trying to make conversation, you’re the one who asked for advice. And we can go there any time. I love myself, my family, my friends, everyone around me… I’m living the dream. There are ups and downs, but all is good. Like I said there are no rewards without sacrifice. Truly living the best life I can. No regrets 🙂 I recommend you write a post just explaining exactly what you mean with Love Yourself and pin it, so anyone who lands on your website has a clear picture of what the blog is about. People are looking for answers not questions. However, consider creating a podcast instead of a blog. I believe you convey your thoughts better talking than writing. Plus, a lot of people nowadays rather listen while driving than read on their computers – specially about topics like the ones you’re writing about.

    1. Thanks for your reply. The SEO I recently applied must be working, otherwise you would not have seen the post. I must admit I was rather harsh in my post, but I was using our conversation as an example of almost all of the conversations I have had on this subject. So it wasn’t directed at you. It was for, as the title says, Some Common Objections to Loving Yourself. You were just the latest one and the freshest on my mind.

      So to answer your reply, the premise is based on the old, well known, and pretty much accepted, “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself.” I just turned it around to say, “You can only love others as much as you Love Yourself. I don’t think you agreed with that statement, even though it is basically the same as the age-old maxim.

      I didn’t bring up the saying right away, I asked a more thought provoking one…something like, “Do you think Loving Yourself is more important than Loving Others?” You answered, and I stated my premise.

      Then we went round and round about serving others, ideal client, etc, and never got around to what really is Loving Yourself. That’s when I brought up the coaching…I teach people to Love Themselves, because they don’t know how!!!

      One influential online marketer recently said, mindset…who you are…is the first step to success. Another one says it’s a spiritual process for you to make it. And a third actually said that he is taking time out to Love Himself. He used it as the first heading under the Title of his latest campaign post for a $5500 product!!!

      So I feel a bit better that the “gurus” realize it…and that I’m on the right track.

      I am glad you love everyone around you. I would encourage you to take some time to reflect on what it means to Love Yourself. You might discover something!

      I would also be glad to continue this conversation.

      I think we also talked about how there is a balance to loving others and yourself. And I would agree, but only in the light of the more you love yourself, the more you will love others.

      I don’t view life as sacrifices or rewards. I view it is as doing…rather being…what you are, whether it’s working, spending time with friends and family or in self reflection.

      It is the process of truly going from one level of Loving Yourself to the next. The people I listen to say the Universe IS Love, and not to give room to anything else.

      Part of marketing is to get people to think about their really bad situation, and one way to do that is to ask them a question. Then spend the rest of the time answering it, guiding them to the answer…to Love Themselves!

      Thanks for the advice about making a podcast. I love writing, but I think you said I speak better than I write…

      I have a YouTube channel, so I will be posting more on there.

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